So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
