FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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