Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
