We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I see more hoeing in ur future
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