I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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