Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
