My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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