there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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