The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
