This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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