Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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