Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize