Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
