wanna go halves on a baby?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
