this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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