Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
