what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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