Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i think i just lost a toe
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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