Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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