At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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