isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
