wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
