So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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