so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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