Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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