please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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