She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
