You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
