Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
