whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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