do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
