walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
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