My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
