My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
