what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
