You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Houston, we have a squirter
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
