i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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