Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
