Come see our sink grown plant.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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