Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
