My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
