I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
