What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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