i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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