I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
