Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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