ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
