my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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