You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
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Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
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I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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