It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
