I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
