he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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