I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
