How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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