FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
