LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
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You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
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Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize