My nipple is on Facebook.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
