Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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