why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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