My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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