It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
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idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
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Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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