3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
