Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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