If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Someone shattered a urinal.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
