I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
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