don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
