Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
